Comments HW 56

TO RUBEN
http://rubenisthebest.blogspot.com/2011/05/hw-55-culminating-project-care-of-dead.html?showComment=1305691665979#c7015014601262645699

Ruben, I feel like your blog post covers the question that I had over the entire unit but in a different way then what I thought the answer would be. You made your blog about the planning of a funeral and I feel like you got a lot of evidence that helped to show the cost portion of funerals. I think there is a lot of information that you have here that you could have used in your elevator speech which could have made it better because you start to talk about funerals at the beginning then you transition to cremation and I feel like there could have been more talked about this in your speech. I think one thing you can work on is format.

Chris.

TO KEVIN
http://normalisweirdkevinw.blogspot.com/

YEAHH!!! EMBALMING. I think embalming was hyped up by Andy to be very gruesome and some sort of of miserable thing. Although it seems very violent how can you say this when the person is dead. Also it isn't always like the person doesn't know their dead body is going to be involved. It is not grave robbing and stripping the body for organs. Anyway back to this, I think you decided to right a very factual paper that gives clear alternatives and doesn't just complain about a problem. Its a paper but maybe in person you can tell me why you decided to write about this. I think this was actually pretty interesting and the best part in my opinion was the alternatives.

TO LUCAS
http://normalisweirdlucas.blogspot.com/

YEAH!!! This project didn't work out how you wanted it too as I can see through my favorite line of the post, "Denied. Ah such is fate. Despite calling ahead on Thursday around noon, and ensuring that my group could come in to view this (PUBLIC) funeral, we were stalled and filibustered into twiddling our thumbs in woeful silence in the waiting area of Mr. Benta's fine funerary facility." I think this gets a lot of emotion out without telling exactly how you felt in words. The words that you choose to use in the post creates a really fine image in my head of what you were thinking and it also gives a good image of the surroundings. I feel like this is more of a video then an actual video. I like this post.
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Comments From Protege:
Chrissss nice post maaaan. I like how we both have narratives of our experience but they are different. I thought it was interesting to see how you thought about the funeral home and how people were acting etc etc. I also like how you included dialogue because even if I wasn't there, I feel like it makes it very descriptive and easy to picture. Even though the project didn't go as planned and we didn't have a video, you did a good job writing about it..

Comments From Mentor:
Hi Chris, I guess I will first start out by talking about what I think could have been better about this post. What makes this post a bit weaker than it could be is the way you get the ideas of what you were thinking across. I feel like it is hard to distinguish what is actually happening and what you are thinking because it goes back and forth so much. But I do like the way you create the idea. The conversations that you include makes the story fun to read and I think a lot of the post is interesting but their are some things you can obviously improve on.

From Casey:Chris, I'm sorry that your project did not go very well. It was good of you to admit that it could have been more successful, and I enjoyed your detailed narrative of the various interactions at the funeral home. However, you could have analyzed the experiences you did have a bit more. For example, what do the magazine options in the home reveal about their expecations of who they will be serving? How did the behavior of the employees there compare to your expectations and what did the dialoge reveal about their goals in their daily work? The fact that the funeral director would not let you in to view the wake because it was an invasion of privacy was interesting to me; it was a unique idea that I had not before considered, yet it reveals that he was most concerned with the grieving family under his care.

From: Sophia: I liked that even though your original idea for the project didn't work out, you still got something out of the experience. Your descriptions of the funeral home were interesting, and although you didn't get to go to the wake, it still seems like you got something out of the experience.

My favorite line was: "We waited here for about fifteen minutes in that time everything was pure and clean. There was a sound of a water fall."