HW: 36

Christopher R


For this assignment I questioned someone who had a child 16 years ago, someone who had a child 8 years ago and someone who had a child about a year ago. I thought it would be interesting to interview people who had babies recently and people who had babies a relatively long time ago and see how the child birthing and raising is now compared to a good amount of years ago. The question I wanted to focus on for these interviews was how the male played a role in the birthing, how the male played a role before and after birthing and I wanted to see how this changed over the years because one thing that I think is over looked through the entire process of birthing is the second parent who is the father.

When I interviewed the person that had a child more than a decade ago I got somewhat of an unexpected answer. She started to talk about how the male was a little too involved, where women are seen as the ones who care more for young and they are seen as the ones who are supposed to care for the child; she said she felt kind of harassed by all of the attention she was getting. When she wanted some space she wasn’t able to get it because he would be there asking how he could help and what he could do to make her feel more comfortable. So I followed up with the question “Is there any reason you think women are expected to take care of the child, do you feel like you’re able to care for a child better than the father?” Again I got an unexpected answer, she said when the baby actually was delivered when the baby was taken away from her to go to the nursery the father followed the baby everywhere to make sure he knew exactly where it was at all times. She felt like the reason people think women are the ones who are expected to take care of the baby is because they are the ones who are pregnant so even before the baby is born they are already taking care of the baby for nine months. While the father is usually expected to be there for morale support and to make sure the baby will have a place to live and be happy, in her case the father was more hands on then she wanted and as a result to that it is kind of like he was also taking care of the baby for nine months. So when the baby came out he had already gotten so attached that he was just as fit to take care of the kid as she was. She joked saying “he could have been the pregnant one and saved me some stress; he was basically a mom without the physical effects.”

So I interviewed the woman who had their kids the most recent at the same time because they are sisters, and I wanted to ask them about the difference between both of their births. I asked how the male played a role in the pregnancy and was this, a major role or more of a morale support kind of relationship. The sister with the younger child said that the father didn’t really help her, the only thing that he did during the nine months before the baby was born was buy clothes for the baby to have when she was born. The sister with the older child said that the father helped but not as much as she would have wanted. “It was almost like he thought when he did something then he doesn’t have to do anything for a while. It’s like when he went out to the store to go buy some food and prepare by buying diapers that gave him a couple of days off without helping. For him it’s not like he was trying to help he was trying to get by with the minimum help possible. I know he doesn’t know exactly how I feel but I was going to be pregnant for the entire nine months, it’s not like I could be pregnant for a couple days then the rest of the week I get to take off. It isn’t a nine to five job it’s something I have to do every day until the baby is delivered. If you’re going to be a father why wait until the time our child is actually there because I damn sure don’t get anytime off.” I found the last part the most interesting so I also followed up with the same question, and I got a similar response. “I was being a mother to the child before he wanted to be a father to the child. I was the one caring for the kid so I guess people see me as the one who is supposed to take care of the kid when it’s born. It’s been that way for a while I guess, when the father is just there for support that same support is not going to help raise the child, the actual listening, caring for is what’s going to help.”

These stories that they were telling me helped me to understand a little bit more about the role that males play because it is an archetype that I think most people play into. The father has to be the one who is there to tell the kid to be tough and to buy him or her things like diapers, clothes, and make sure that everything is taken care of financially. These interviews also brought up something that I never thought of and it kind of ties back to the abortion idea. When is a child actually a child, if a child is a child when its first in the womb at about a month old because it has to be taken care of then how come the men don’t help. If they are only going to help after the baby is born then maybe women are more suitable to take care of the children.

I want to explore a lot more about the preparation of a baby, and how to care for a baby before its born because if a baby is going to be healthy when its outside of the womb it has to start before the baby is outside of the womb.

HW 35

Christopher R

The question I wanted to focus on when talking to people about their ideas on birth was the role of the father in birth and what people thought the role of the father was. With the stereotype for the father being someone who is there for support and the mother being known as the person who not only takes care of the child but takes care of the entire family, I wanted to know exactly how people interpret their father’s role. All the questions that I asked were based around the idea of how fathers help, what fathers are supposed to do and personal experiences with men and birth. I hadn’t gotten very insightful quotes from the person I interviewed but I hadn’t expected it. First was a response to the question I had about what fathers are supposed to do to help the mother during the 9 months before birth. Women completely change the lifestyle they were living to only think about the baby. Men who do not get pregnant must have something to do during this time? Is this role only something that is classified as being supportive to the mother or is there something males can do that directly has an effect on the baby?

I started to notice when I was interviewing people I was getting consistent answers saying that men were only supposed to be there for support and they have to help the woman. Personally I don’t see this as the male helping the baby because it isn’t direct. The man is helping the woman to be more comfortable, which can help the baby which overall leads back to the idea that the female is the person who helps the female the majority of the time. Most of the answers involved the male going out and buying things for the babies’ arrival such as clothes and toys reinforcing that men “bread winners”. The only person who I spoke to that said the males have actual affect she said, “they need to be nurturing and gentle as well they have to change diapers as much as the mom feed them get up at night, they should be in a safe environment a man needs to step up change diapers and make himself known to the baby instead of being just a provider.”

While I agree with most of it I also think that men have to change as well. When a baby is deliver it requires a lot of attention and a man who is trying to get money to “help support” the baby and works too much is not giving the baby the attention it needs. More than anything a baby needs love, care and attention. If a man is usually away from home for a significant amount of time (business trips, personal reasons) this is something that has to change to help the development of the baby. The more the man is around the more this can help the woman who is pregnant as well. According to my friend Isaac and Kammie the purpose of the man is to be there for support with the availability of the man being there every day for a majority of the day it opens a lot of possibilities. If it takes to people to make a baby there is no reason to only utilize one.

First Thoughts on Birth (HW 34)

Christopher R

One of the questions that I have for this unit, which I will put in the list of questions at the bottom of this assignment, is what the role of the male is during, before and after birth. What the dominant social practice seems to be is the men are there for support and they are to try to help the woman have an easier time by making the female comfortable. It’s also common to hear a female talk about how much child birth hurts and all of the negatives that come from being pregnant, such as putting on weight making it harder to be mobile, morning sickness, having to adjust and change the lifestyle a person were living to have a healthier child. However what this seems like is a lot of complaining without working towards any kind of solution (which is something almost everyone does). Females are the only ones, who are linked with the idea of pregnancy, and being pregnant but there are always two parents and men get little to no credit for doing anything. The reason I think this is, is because there is not a role for men that is ever glamorized or talked about a lot, and with women being directly correlated birth men, and their roles are kind of forgotten about.

Another perspective that I have about birth, is when is the ideal time for a female to become pregnant and how can this be determined. This is something that I have a lot of personal experience with because my mother had me at a very late ate, or what is considered to be a late in modern society. It is more common that people have children when they are younger now and MTV has started to make a profit off of females that get pregnant while they are teenagers. While that is usually a terrible situation, because mothers do not get the chance to go to college and have to apply for a job (usually low paying) and takes away the opportunity of college. On the other hand my mother had me at a pretty late age and because of this some of the things that younger parents get to experience with their children, I wasn’t able to experience with my mother. Her being older also changes the things we are able to do now, and as time passes no one gets older so what we’re able to physically do or what I’m interested as I get older may start to conflict with the things she wants to do as she becomes older, in contrast to parents and children that are closer together in age.

• What roles do men play, pre-pregnancy, post pregnancy, and during pregnancy in the United States society?
• Is there a biological reason that women are the care-takers of children? What are the reasons that women are culturally the care-takers of children?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a home birth?
• What are the advantages and disadvantages of having a birth in the hospital?
• If the name of a child has no effect on how the child will act when s/he is older what is the purpose of reading up on names and having coaches to teach about baby names?