Visit an Unwell Person

Christopher R
This is not a visit to an unwell person over the break but the time which I visited an unwell person over thanksgiving break.

It could probably be the worse place that anyone would want to visit and have to see someone they love. A nursing home reminds me of a hospital but a couple times worse because when people go to the hospital the idea is people in the hospital get better. When people go to nursing homes the idea is that they have some kind of sickness where they can’t take care of themselves and usually they are elderly so they are close to death anyway. Hospitals can be viewed as a place of protection whereas a nursing home is viewed as a place (very little) hope. Walking through the nursing home to get to your loved one is the worst part of the experience. It feels like a jail, the people are stuck in their rooms with the door open and it’s extremely hard to reframe from looking. Everyone seems so helpless and the way that they stare out the door as people walk by gives off the idea that they don’t want to be there. After viewing all these people being in a very unhealthy state, made me feel like I could become sick aswell by association. It isn’t very often when you see a lot of sick people all at one time. Walking down the halls of the nursing home knowing that more than a few people have died there is also uncomfortable because being around unhealthy people is usually a title given to nurses and doctors.

“Somewhere, over the rainbow, way up high” said the woman in the wheel chair that smiled from ear to ear but revealed no teeth. Being surrounded by sick people made me feel as if they were going to die sooner than later. It seemed like they were already dead. The things that people are predominantly able to do such as walk, talk, have “sane thoughts” is what you start to do at young ages so not being able to do this makes it seem like they are less than human. The nursing home was more of a prison of people in very bad circumstances, compared to the hospital where the idea is to go to recover and get treatment. Then after seeing other sick people who are complete strangers I got to see the person who I actually came to visit. You have to watch as they struggle to do things that came naturally before. I couldn’t count the amount of times she said she had recently seen someone who in actuality had been dead for years. There are memories of the person and all the things they use to do, and these are compared to who they are now, unable to take care of themselves and having many physical and mental difference makes you feel helpless.

She was in a wheelchair, unable to move her legs at all; she had a heart condition where she needed to have a peacemaker. Her face became drastically darker, all of her skin under her neck became tough, she wasn’t able to eat and sleep. In fact at one point it seemed she was so close to death because she wasn’t able to talk and her son tried to take life insurance on her so in case she did die he would get all the money. This was probably the worse I have ever seen her, someone who was able to take care of 9 children and a husband and herself, is now the same person who is unable to things on her own and is around the kitchen on holidays asking how she can help.

Then I noticed the people that work there are always positive, the calendar outside of the room has a list of events, these people who to me come off as dead are scheduled to play kickball (even the ones in the wheel chairs) go to dances, attend church and do other activities I would never imagine they could do or would want to do. Why would an old woman with a heart condition wake up and want to play kick ball or dance. But as I think about it while writing this it makes me realize that if people who were in nursing homes went there and just waited to die the time between them arriving and actually dying would also be a lot like death. Giving people the options to do things they use to do gives them a chance to continue living instead of a room to count down the days until death.